God still uses Broken Vessels.
overcoming and discovering purpose
Who is a broken vessel? What does that even mean? The simplified answer… A broken vessel is me and a broken vessel may also be you. Anyone who has endured the bruises of life and is allowing God to refine their pain for purpose is how I like to describe us. If you are anything like me and have experienced shattering moments in life then I am sure you have wondered if any favorable outcome was possible or maybe even the thought of where is this going? What am I doing here? The great news is you are not alone. We all face moments like these; however, I believe it is how we allow our perspective to be changed through our situations that make all of the difference.
The Decision
There was a time I felt that I had reached a point where I was unaware of who I was, what I meant in this world, just completely lost… a mess honestly. What I did not know at the time was depression had become a silent functioning norm in my life while self-numbing was my scapegoat. Here I was thinking I was just like any other teen, young and living their best life, but underneath it all I was only running away from myself while portraying a façade. The thing about being broken is there is no specific look or voice to it, so it is frequently overlooked by ourselves and others. You’ve been operating a certain way for so long that you’ve convinced yourself that you’re just fine; you know the crowd favorite.. “that’s just how I am”? Yeah, we’ve all found comfort there before. Brokenness has a way of presenting itself as the decisions we make or in our reactions to the things that trigger us. It’s not necessarily a thing you think about beforehand because it’s usually a direct reflection of the way we define life for ourselves.
The truth is we’re born into a broken world so yes, some things in life are inevitable. The influences of society, our upbringing, and culture have all subconsciously shaped our lives in one way or another. For me that looked like being guarded out of fear of abandonment or even weaponizing my mouth as a form of protection. But none of those things actually kept me safe like I thought. If anything, more damage was caused to myself and sometimes even others. It wasn’t until those winding down moments at the end of the night where it was just me and myself… no mask, that I knew I wasn’t okay. Even then I still tightly clinged to the girl I saw in the mirror at the time and was unable to identify the roots to my depth. Was it because I didn’t want change or to become better? No. I thought that if I could keep suppressing whatever it was I was feeling that it would eventually disappear. That is how most of us are taught to cope in life anyways, right? We over indulge in things to subdue the pain to the point where we are so far removed from reality; because it feels so much better to morph into a zombie than to feel the aching attached to our issues. That feeling of dying deep down inside while physically existing at the same time. It took my world being shaken from coasting on the edge of life for me to realize that I needed to decide which direction I was going to go from this. Was I going to keep drowning myself in my sorrows or would I choose to partner with God towards healing my pain? That was the beginning of the transformation: a broken girl picking up the pieces of her vessel.
Overcoming to Purpose
Overcoming is less about the actual act itself and everything about believing you WILL be standing on the other side of your obstacle. It is about making the conscious decision to see yourself free, to see yourself healed, to see yourself evolved and whole. Don’t get me wrong, of course it’s much easier said than done. But just like anything else in life, you can’t expect to do it once and become a master. It takes training and it takes persistence. Even when you don’t feel it, you have to push past the challenging discomfort of straying from unhealthy coping mechanisms. As good as it once felt, you remember that you’re creating space to welcome the better while resistance slowly starts to fade. On this journey to emotional wellness, I am learning that there is no arrival point with big balloons and confetti. You have to keep getting up and showing up. You have to affirm who you see yourself to be on your best day. Even if that person is present in the moment.
If there has been one unwavering truth I have been able to walk away with from the valleys I have overcome, it is -- God still uses broken vessels. That means my problems no longer define me or my purpose. It does not matter what hardships you have faced, what anyone has projected onto you, the lies you have told yourself, or even how many times you feel like you have gotten it wrong.. you still have a why to your story and God will still use it. Our greatest pain has a way of thrusting us into our greatest purpose. That very thing you may have learned in a situation could be the catalyst to a new version of yourself. A healthier and more rooted you. It can be the very thing sitting under our nose that we do with ease that God wants to use to cultivate others. It doesn’t even have to be something grandiose; it can be as little as your heart to serve or how you carry yourself after a heartbreak that can attract people to you. After all, we all have been through life on our own terms so we each have a story to tell and that’s exactly who a broken vessel is. They are committed to inner healing, reshaping their truth, and showing the world what it looks like to be gracefully broken. There is power and freedom in our testimonies, so may we no longer undermine what we were put on this earth to accomplish and the impact that lies within us.